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Every traveller has their style of choice. Mine was always to travel solo. I enjoyed the freedom and the responsibility of everything going to plan landed solely on myself. Then, in 2018 my girlfriend and I decided to embark on an 8-month trip to Asia. We had an amazing time and made some incredible memories. Since returning in December ’18, I have done a small bit of solo travelling, namely city-breaks to Barcelona and Amsterdam. The two sides of the coin are certainly different. Both have their many good parts and their inevitable downsides, even if they are very few. Recently, a lot of people have asked me which I prefer. Whilst the answer is never going to be a simple A or B, I thought I would try and sum up the pros and cons of both.

Pros of Travelling Solo

Above all else, solo travel represents freedom. Freedom to go where I want, do what I want and eat what I want. It means, in the most selfish way possible, I don’t have to be considerate of anybody else. If I want to go to bed early, I can. If I want to stay out all night and sleep in the next day, so be it. On a more extreme note, if I want to change cities or countries for no reason other then, I feel like it, then that’s fine too. I once flew from Ho Chi Minh to Bangkok for the weekend and from there I travelled to Kolkata. I only went to Bangkok because my Vietnamese visa was up and I wanted to watch a football game and a UFC fight that was on that weekend and I was worried the internet would not be good enough in India. That kind of thinking can be hard to explain to a travel partner, especially when they have to pay for the flights as well.

Another reason I love travelling on my own is that it’s great for your self-confidence. You realise very quickly just how strong and self-assured you can be. Your decision is final and you have no one there to rely on. I get more of a sense of achievement when I travel alone. It can come at random times too. I might just be sitting on a bench someplace watching the world go by when I start to feel very proud of myself. Proud for doing what I am doing, proud for adapting to the country I am in and for overcoming any obstacles that have been thrown my way. One of my fondest memories of travelling was watching the sunset over the Taj Mahal. I remember sitting there and it almost felt surreal. I got this huge sense of accomplishment that I was there, seeing this amazing sight and I had done it all by myself.

Pros of Travelling As A Couple

It is that feeling of having someone by your side, sharing those special moments with you. To be creating memories not only for yourself but for your partner as well. The ability to be able to reminisce about the great times that you had. When you return home, no one understands what you have been through or can quite realise just how amazing your experience was. This is totally different when you are travelling as a couple. You can always think back to your trip, joke about it and dream of going back. I also felt I had more amazing times when we travelled as a couple. We were quicker to do excursions or day trips together than I would have been alone. That sense of security knowing you were not doing it alone was reassuring. We did an island tour in The Philippines. I don’t swim or particularly like water so I always avoided these things. Yet, when you are there with another person I felt confident in the fact that someone had my back and I would not have to do anything I did not want to.

When it comes to socializing, the pressure of meeting people is gone. I was not alone, so more often than not watching Netflix at night was the activity of choice. I drank considerably less. When I travelled alone, I was out pretty much every night until the early hours. Breakfast was not a thing, I went to bed late and woke up late before starting all over again shortly after. As you can imagine not drinking every night meant doing a lot more during the day and getting more from my time in each place. I realised that my time was limited wherever I went and I should try and make the most out of being there.

Cons of Travelling Solo

The biggest downside to travelling solo is the inevitable loneliness. It sounds a bit more tragic than it is, but even a person who loves their own company will get the odd bout of loneliness. You might check into a hostel for a few days that turns out to be empty or just not a great place to meet people. This can lead to days of barely saying a word to anyone. This can often happen during travel days too. Buses or trains can take a long time in certain parts of the world and that is no fun when you are just left to your own thoughts. I remember taking a 24-hour train from Bangkok to Butterworth in Malaysia a few years back. I had no phone or music because they would inevitably run out of battery, so I had to sit there and stare out the window for what seemed like a lifetime. This can really suck!

Another huge downside to solo travel is an extreme part of what makes solo travelling so great. It is having to meet new people almost every day. Where are you from? What do you do? How long are you travelling? The same questions over and over. And then when you start to get to know someone, either they leave or you leave and you have to start all over again. It also leads to more drinking than I would like. Alcohol is a great way to get to know people. Solo travellers also have to take responsibility for any mistakes or mishaps. There is no passing the buck when you are travelling alone. If something goes wrong it is invariably my own fault.

Cons of Travelling As A Couple

One very obvious con when travelling as a couple is that you don’t meet nearly as many people as you do when alone. I know, I previously said meeting people every day is a downside to travelling solo but at times a balance would be nice. Weeks often went by where my girlfriend and I spoke to no one but each other. Whilst that is infinitely better than speaking to no one at all, it can get frustrating. The reason? Because we didn’t have to. We were never alone. It was just as easy, if not easier to watch a movie in the dorm room together instead of sitting in the common room or a bar seeing who there was to talk to.

Another was the arguments. Thankfully, I don’t have much experience in this but I know that other couples do. When you have a disagreement with the person you spend nearly all day, every day with, it can be hard. It was usually caused by someone being in a bad mood for one reason or another and taking it out on the person closest to them. Luckily this was the cause and not a bigger issue. They were always solved quite quickly, mostly because there is no point staying mad at someone that, regardless of anything, you are not getting away from. When travelling alone, I find myself to very rarely get into a bad mood. It doesn’t make sense to get angry at yourself and being alone tends to stop me getting angry at strangers, no matter the reason.

So Which is Better?

I think it is impossible to say which is better. Each side has its own positives and negatives. Maybe there is a case to be made for everything in moderation. Some of the pros and cons were also negatives when gone too far the other way. Finding the balance is important. Lessons can be learned from both styles. I find that since the eight-month trip last year, I have changed as a solo traveller. More emphasis is being put on spending my time wisely. I am not too fussed about meeting people, especially if the trip only lasts a few days. Although, that is essential with long-term travel, just maybe not to the extreme that I used to try and do it.

I will continue to still do both. The pros of each style heavily outweigh the cons because, whatever style you choose, travelling is still king. I feel that everyone should travel solo for an extended period if possible. You will learn more about yourself during that time that you could have ever imagined. I don’t regret those solo trips one bit. However, it was nice to change it up last year and experience the other side of the coin. I saw travelling from a different perspective and the benefits of doing so were huge. I am incredibly thankful for all my travels to date, both alone and as part of a couple. Long may it continue!

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The Roaming Irishman

roamingirishman@gmail.com

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